Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The ouster of mascot Frito Bandito has been rescinded

It's hard to find - let alone afford - a ticket to see the Maple Leafs in their home city of Toronto, and yet it was 1967 since they won a Stanley Cup. A great example of good business.

It was a year when America had clear morals, plans and a conviction to execute them as it did when the U.S. military strength increased to a total of over 490,000 personnel, 90% of those involved in the army. Among them was not boxer Muhammad Ali, who refused to enlist and, for his dissidence, was stripped of the World Championship title later that year.

It was also a year when a company such as Fritos, had the freedom and bravery to introduce a mascot like Frito Bandito, peddling their delicious corn chips and marking a time when you could say what you wanted unscathed.

The mascot had endorsed their number one selling snack food successfully for over 40 years and would have continued to do so had the liberal lefties not thought that he was "stealing" the corn chips and was misrepresenting the Mexican people. They began protesting and we had no choice but to fire Mr. Bandito with 2 weeks pay and medical for a year.

So why are so many wondering if Frito Bandito will return to steal our corn chips once more?"

The Mexicans' collective sombrero has been lifted, folks. The siesta is now over.

The decision to rehire Mr. Bandito came after a language correlation analysis by the company. The language of the presidential candidates in the republican debates showed a strong similarity and related likeability to the mascot, Frito Bandito, with the highest correlation among them being Donald Trump. The company thought having Frito Bandito in a commercial with Donald would bring in the biggest bucks and would illustrate Frito simply outsmarting some for their chips, not stealing them, though he would acknowledge some steal but some are good people.

Trump has been speaking out against chip theft and said he will not tolerate it. The Campaign to Save Ketchup Doritos is mighty happy about that for once we get them, we don't want to worry about having our freedom to eat them taken away.