The truth is, nobody knows how much we should really eat. It's a fact.
I don't want any of our true-blue American tots to be deprived of life, liberty, or the pursuit of crunchiness, especially when so many of them will have to serve in our armed forces once President Trump declares war on Iran or Pakistan or Mexico in 2017.
And as long as some Ivory Tower Latté Hilleral keeps ordering me--through their Media Mouthpiece NPR, using Government Tax Dollars no less--to switch to Quinoa or some sort of jungle root being advertised as a sexual stimulant in the New Yorker, I will stick to my guns and enjoy the only food that makes me feel truly complete.
Ketchup Doritos, obviously. I can't believe you even paused to think of other candidates.
I think that Trump winning the GOP nomination can only bode well for Americans, as the Frito-Lay CEO probably plays golf with Donald from time to time, and the Next President will be able to decree that Ketchup Doritos will be named America's new pastime and also hopefully used to decorate our Proud Nation's $20 bill.