Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Syrians are migrating to North America to eat Ketchup Doritos

I speak the truth. Syrians are coming here, to North America, and they are coming here to eat KD. And in numbers! Syrians are coming to a state (or province) near you! I mean, it's huge. It's incredible, really.

So is it any wonder why the Global Language Monitor's annual survey cited, "migrant crisis", as last year's top phrase? An honourable second was awarded to, "Ketchup Doritos", for its widespread popularity and frequent usage thought the better part of last year and now (through this forum), I'll tell ya, the beginnings of this year and what looks to be a long friendship into the future. 

And I know what you are going to say (even though I shouldn't care because I won't be there when you say it), you are going to say many studies are commissioned to rank word usage, Oxford Dictionaries Word of the Year being your notable example, and their word is not migrant crisis.

And I would respond by saying that that study in particular has no credibility on word choice because they're weak and they followed the technicological trend of yesteryear. The year before last, the word chosen was, "vape", and the most recent year, the word chosen was the emoji, "face with tears of joy". A technological advancement it may be but they're missing it. 

The movement of what some commentators have referred to in the hundreds of millions of refugees is from the Middle East to Europe as well as North African countries. The migration is cited as the largest migration of a people (predominantly Syrians & Afghanis) since WWII and North America is next.

So why are they not seeking their neighbours? 

The reason Syrians are not fleeing to the Gulf states closer to home is because they don't have Ketchup Doritos and hence, freedom. Despite the news that moving to Dubai can have astronomical costs, simply allowing the Middle East to have access to Ketchup Doritos would eliminate their need to migrate.

Ironically, even though future President Trump will likely legalize Ketchup Doritos in the USA as one of his first acts of office, his actions may just foment even more immigration and the crisis will surely grow.

Now at this time let us look onto Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who says that you get back what you give out, so you should plant as many "seeds" as possible if you want a garden (or even a wall) to grow.