Sunday, March 27, 2016

Canuck Tomato-Folk Grateful to Yankee Wealthy for Saving their Economy

Ketchup production is big business but who's business is it?

The beneficiaries in the Tomato-Ketchup marriage depend on who you look at but, overall, we can safely say that only for America the scenery never changes, it is the lead horse riding off into the tomato fields. The rest of us are stuck at home watching Fried Green Tomatoes (again) and still wondering what the secret ingredient is in the sauce.

At least this holds true for Hunt's. Thankfully, the sweetener is back to high fructose corn syrup after America came along to save those poor Canucks with their crazy table sugar and their health how-tos on eating better. You have to give the customer what they want, right?

No other story could warm the hearts of job creators around the world than to read about the American capitalization of the Canadian Ketchup industry. While we here at the Campaign to Save Ketchup Doritos were concerned that this change might impact the cost of Ketchup Doritos, but our research indicates that this won't impact the supply of our KD. Apparently there is more MSG than dehydrated tomato in the ingredients so the tomato supply needed for the Canadian supply of KD is minimal. We still love them.

But don't feel sorry for those wacky Canadians. In fact, many of the blue-collar workers of Southern Ontario are thanking their new American bosses for stepping in and saving their cushy jobs, some even with glamorous bouquets of Doritos Ketchup Roses.